Show Time!

I have decided that Jasmine will play guitar during my show. She's really an excellent guitar player and my regular guy's wife is having a baby so he can't make it. But I think Jasmine will make a nice replacement. She's getting a complete makeover (gotta get rid of those fake tattoos she's sporting) and she's very excited about tomorrow. I still get nervous before a show even though I've done it a few times now, so we stay up eating pizza and talking about the show.

My hair is now permanently red (awesome) and I love the outfit! I've invited my whole family to the show and of course Cal will be there. After our little makeout fest, I've been trying my best not to be alone with him.....but I can't do that forever.....guess it's time to talk to RJ, she has more experience in matters such as these. I'm nervous enough without adding Cal to the mix!

Doesn't she look awesome?! We got her hair cut a little shorter and she decided she wanted to cut off her eyebrows and replace them with some amazingly drawn on ones the same color as her outfit. She looks really and truly awesome! This is going to be a great show!

After everything is set up, the show starts with Jasmine onstage by herself strumming out the beat to "How to Deal". I wrote this song myself and it really speaks to who I am and how I feel about so many different things.

Then I'm on stage singing my heart out:

This is how to deal, when something isn't real

Don't think you can tell me how I should feel

I know what's in my heart, could feel it from the start

I'm tearing your lies and your truth all apart...

All the girls are here and Jayla made sure she had a front row seat. Anna can't believe how good Jasmine looks with her new makeover. She especially likes her new outfit and all her makeup. I'm so glad that they came. We've been living together for a while now and they really are like family to me.

My sisters and their husbands came and so did my parents. I am shocked to see Cal sitting next to my parents. That's going to take so much explaining! I hope he doesn't talk to them about me. We aren't at the meeting parents stage. Hell we're not at any stage because we aren't together!

Jasmine is really into the song and is rocking her guitar. During her solo no one in the crowd could take their eyes off of her. I think we have found her destiny: Jasmine was born to ROCK!

You're fake with all your lies, and all the tears you cry

Never have the strength in you to say good-bye

But you know it isn't right, and I'm tired of the fights

muffled yells and screams late into the night

Oh, this is how to deal, when something isn't real.......

I look out into the crowd and lock eyes with Cal. And what I see in them scares and excites me all at the same time.....so I turn to him and sing the next part directly at him....

Of course I could love you, don't think I haven't tried

But my heart can't let go of all the past lies

Of all the hurt and all the pain, I don't know what to do

But in my heart will always to be love there for you

But this is how to deal, when something isn't real

Don't think you can tell me how I should feel......

But he never takes his eyes off me. My words don't make him uncomfortable at all. I think he already knows how I feel but he doesn't care. He's convinced that he and I are meant to be.....but I just can't be sure. And I won't be in love with someone who can't be true to me.......I just can't......

The show ends and I take my bow after thanking everyone for coming out. Everytime I have a show, more and more people come out and listen so I guess that means my fan base is growing. How awesome is that?

And Jasmine? Well she's going to be my new guitarist! She could use the experience and above all else, she just freaking ROCKS. I think she will get more opportunities after this show. There were some pretty influential people out in the crowd.

I come off stage and Cal lets out a big wolf whistle.

"All I can say is wow," Cal says.

"Thank you very much sir. I really love performing. I just hope everyone enjoyed the show."

"It's impossible for them to not have enjoyed it! It was great! YOU were great!"

"Thanks," I said laughing.

Then of course he pulls me into his arms for a hug. I hate to admit it, but his arms are becoming my favorite place to be! I don't know, what can I do? I like him enough to want to make out with him, but not enough to give him the opportunity to hurt me!

Of course we are suppose to have a date after the show, but my evil professor scheduled my final right after the show was suppose to be done. I tried getting out of it, but he didn't want to give me special priviledges.....JERK! Cal took it better than I thought he would and insisted that he would just see me later....it was weird but Cal is weird sometimes so I didn't think anything of it.

So I'm off to pretend that I'm actually here to learn something and not to party and pledge and do all the fun things! I'm kinda sad that I'm going to miss my date with Cal......but hey I guess I AM kinda here to get an education........

Imagine my surprise when I come home to find that my sorority sisters are throwing me a surprise after party! I was so surprised! I didn't even imagine that they would do something like this! But hey Hoh Fruhm girls love to party!

Ok, this is getting out of hand! Everytime I see this guy he's either kissing me or hugging me......basically frying out all my little brain cells and leaving me weak for him......yea, I gotta have that talk with RJ.......SOON.

The party is excellent and while I am very appreciative of the girls giving it to me, I spend most of my time standing around talking to Cal. Well in all fairness, I DID have a date planned with him and it kinda got canceled because of my final!

Cal has his own final to attend and has to leave the party early. As he walks toward the door, he turns to me and says, "That was how you USED to deal.....I'm going to teach you a whole new plan of action!"

Deep crap......definitely in deep crap!