He's Just not the Same

How pathetic is this? I've been falling sleep on the loveseat in mine and Taj's bedroom the past few nights because Taj has been coming home so late. I guess it could be possible. But something is telling me that he isn't working late every night. I can't take this. After Clay, I was so afraid to fall in love again. But then Taj came along and made me feel safe. But if this doesn't work out, if he's not the man I thought he was, what am I to do? I'm getting older and I don't need this shit. He better have a helluva good reason for these late nights. And I'm not accepting that he's working late!

I have to admit that I've been pretty distracted lately. Madison has been wonderful with Kayden and her and Matt are really helping me out. I just need to confront Taj and get this over with. I need to know what's going on........

He's been on his cell phone more and more the past few weeks and anytime any of us come around, he ends the call suddenly. I don't know what to do. I can't take another man not wanting to be with me. My heart can't take it.

So I confront him one morning before he goes off to "work".

"Taj, what's going on?"

"What are you talking about? I'm getting ready for work," he said.

"Taj, where have you been the past few night?"

"Gabby, what the hell is wrong with you? You know I've been working. For Sim's sake, I work at a hospital! What do you want me to do? Go into a patient's room and say, I'm sorry I can't treat you, my wife wants me home?"

"Don't raise your voice at me Taj. Don't you dare raise your voice at me! You were keeping regular hours and then all of a sudden, Rodney comes for a visit and you're staying out all night!" I said.

"Oh, is this what this is about? My brother? What do you think we're doing, Gabby? Picking up women when I get off? Hitting all the bars around town?"

"Don't patronize me Taj. Don't do that. I know you aren't just working late. You use to be home. You liked being home with me and the kids. Now Madison is having to help raise her little brother. And so is Matt. They're teens, it's not their job. It's our job!"

"Gabby, I'm not going to do this with you. I said that I'm just working late and that's the truth. End of discussion," he said walking off.

End of discussion? Does he think I'm a child? Oh, no. This is NOT the end of this!

He got dressed and walked by me without so much as a good-bye. No hug, no kiss. Taj is changing and I don't know why. And the more he changes, the more Matt resents him. I don't want my family to fall apart.

I sit eating fruit salad that I can't even taste because I'm so upset. I know Taj isn't working. He was due home over an hour ago and he still hasn't showed up. I know this is going to be another one of those nights. Wait, Angela! My cousin Angela's husband Kyoshi is the chief of staff at BGMH. He'll know if Taj is actually at the hospital.

"Hey Angie, what's up?" I say.

"Gabby! I haven't heard from you since KD's wedding! How have things been?"

"Oh, things are good.....I mean Kayden's growing like a little weed. How is Rayne?"
"Rayne is a handful! But we love her so much. How is Taj?" she asked.

"Taj is......great. I was actually calling to see if Kyoshi knew what time he was suppose to get off. I wanted to do a surprise dinner for him."

"I think he and Kyoshi work about the same hours and Kyoshi is home already. Hold on I'll ask him. Baby, what time does Taj get off? What? Oh, ok thanks sweetie. Yea he's been off for about an hour now. I'm sure he'll be pulling up soon, she said.

"For an hour? I mean, I hope nothing has happened to him. Do you know if the hospital staff has been short lately?" I asked.

"Short? Girl, they have TOO many doctors and nurses! It seems that all the young adults now want to go into the medical field. Gabby are you ok? Do you want me to come over?" she asked.

"No, no, I'm fine. I'm sure he'll be here any minute. Let me get started on this meal. I'll talk to you later."

"You know I"m here if you need me," she said.

"I know Angie. Thanks," I said hanging up.

I went downstairs and jumped right into a bubble bath. Taj had been lying to me. I don't even know who he is anymore. But he's not the man I married......